R.I.P 3ammo 7abibe

In ten minutes from now ramadan will be over and it will be time for 3id. But it feels like anything but 3id. These couple of years haven't been so good but at least when 3id would come you would be able to forget all your problems and spend these three days with your family, friends and loved ones. And this is what we would do every year; I would wake up, give my daddy and mommy a big kiss and then move on to the rest of the family saying 3id mubarak, then I would take a shower, put on my new clothes and run to my aunties place where the whole family would be gathered. Then we would go to a resturaunt and we would eat all we can as a BIG geunuinely happy family whose forgotten all the problems even if just for a day. But this year was like no other, and so this 3id will be like no other. This year we lost a big part of us, 3ammo abou hussein may he rest in piece. Loosing him meant loosing a big part of the family, the oldest one, the one whose face would always be the first I see when I go to my aunties place on 3id, the first face I would want to see! This year I wont be able to see him and so this 3id won't feel like a 3id. Today when I herd the 3id was announced to be tomorrow for the first time ever I wasn't happy about the announcement. Sadness filled my heart and tears just wouldn't stop running, I thought I was the only one but then I looked up and I saw the rest in the room also crying... We were all thinking the same; 3ammo won't be here, my dad won't be here and my brother Ali won't be here! Three people whom I've never been apart from during ramadan or 3id will be missing tomorrow. People ask me all the time if I'm okay but do they really want to hear the answer? Of course I'm not okay and I don't think I'll ever be... How can I be okay with everything going on around me? Thinking about how hard this must be for auntie I went over to her place and just as I thought the house was a freaking mess. Not a single dry eye! So tell me, would you be okay? I guess this 3id I'll spend it with me, myself and I...