My Maryama... My Gem

My oh my, I can't believe it... I've written about a lot of my friends and what they mean to me in this blog but I haven't written about one of the greatest. This girl is more then a friend, more then a cousin, to me she's a sister... I've always loved her and considered her to be assume but at some point (I don't know exactly when) she became someone who I can say anything to, someone who I really want to see everyday because she knows exactly how to make me laugh... she became a person whom when I see I just run to her for a hug (and me doesn't hug anyone). Whenever I needed something she would be there for me and when I cried she was the one to comfort me... Even when earth was being a living hell for her, even after she lost the most precious person on earth to her she still made sure that I had a shoulder to cry on, she comforted me when she was the one who needed more comfort, she stood up for me even when it would bring her trouble. Her troubles were much bigger then mine but still she helped me through them and every time I cried she would comfort me even though I should have been the one holding her and comforting her. That's who she is, she's a person with a heart of gold who sees others before she sees herself, she's simply my maryama. The Maryama that sometimes even without her knowing it she made my day happier just by saying a typical maryama crazy comment... Just by looking at her I can't help but smile and when she cries I feel like the world is about to end... I just can't take it... I hate every person who doesn't appreciate her enough and doesn't see what a treasure she is... She's truly a gem... A gem whom without I would be lost... XoXo

Kadde

The most of you know my cousin Kadde but for those of you who don't know all I have to say is that you're missing out on a lot. I've had my ups and downs with her, my fights and makeups, my good and bad, my tears and smiles. Our friendship has been one hell of a rollercoaster but that rollercoaster is just going to go up from here on now. Why? Because she's my kadde, the girl who would fight a battle for me and my family, the girl who thinks of us before thinking of herself. If there's something we want she gives it to us without thinking about herself first. She is strong, goodhearted and even though she's gone through a lot she's still trying to stand strong. I want to tell you to never listen to those who want to put you down. They don't know anything, they don't know you! But don't let it get to you because as long as you know who you are you shouldn't care about anything or anyone. Sormeytek bteswa kill wa7ad bijarreb ye2zike... XoXo

Carpe Diem

Today I recieved one of the greatest gifts I have ever recieved. This is a gift that has a lot of meaning to me and I want to say thaaank you soo much. The gift was a neckless that had carpe diem written on it with a heart in the middle. Woow. Again thank you !!

3id?

The clock passed 12 o'clock and my friends started texting me "3id mubarak"... For me it wasn't 3id, it certainly didn't feel like it but still I told the people I loved "kell 3am w ento b5er". Next day (today) I woke up by namoose calling me and I had 15 minutes left for the bus that goes to my college. I don't know how I put my clothes on, how I took the jacket and how I ran to the bus. I go their, I put on the show and I pass. Next we had the seminar (nshallah naja7et ya rabbb) and henna wasn't there but those three hours withmy group made me laugh more than I had laughed in a year. It was real laughter that made my stomach hurt. They were talking about crazy things that you're better off not hearing and people passing us were shocked but I didn't care... Because I was LAUGHING... Even though this doesn't feel like 3id because of several things I was still happy today thanks to my group. XoXo

Broken heart

He took her hand and he held it tight in his, without seeing her face and without her seeing his face they both started tearing up unwantedly. Tear after tear started to cover their eyes, still not looking at the other person. She says goodbye and he stands their; letting her go, not because he doesn't love her but because he truly does. That's the scene of seperation that broke my heart into pieces... "We leave eachother because of love only to hopefully being reunited in the future because of love"

What's the purpose?

I'm at my college now and my class starts in 5 minutes but.. but.. I just don't want to go... It's not because I'm still down or sad it's just because I don't find any meaning to it all... What's the purpose of doing this whole thing? Of living... Everyday it's the same routine, I go to all the same places and meet all the same people... Once in a while I see someone unexpected and we talk and I become happy but then later on I become upset again... Is life so boring that the highlight of my day is meeting someone I wasn't expecting to meet? So I decided to change my routine, I'm not going to go to my class and I'm going to do something I never thought I would, it's going to be CRAZY and it's going to upset a lot of people but I'm not going to care. I don't care to the extent that I might even blog about what I did... And maybe not.. You'll know by the end of the evening if I decide to blog about what I did.. until then XoXo

Day in the rain

Yesterday I took a walk with teta in the pouring rain... The rain was puring so hard that everyone was inside cursing the weather, everyone but me and ouri teta... I've said before why I love rain and teta is like me so we walked and walked, talking about everything. Then out of nowhere I see we're not the only crazy people outside.. maya and kadde were taking pics in the rain and what else could I do but join? And so me did haha... Later on I went to my cousins place and we started talking about lebanon and how we miss everyone there. Not just the people but the places too... I love sweden and the people here too, don't get me wrong.. I just wish I could have the best of both countries in one... XoXo

New Moon

It's saturday night and I look at the clock... it shows 7.15; one hour left until I go to watch the movie I have been waiting for for a year now... I'm excited but at the same time afarid that I'll be dissappointed as I was after the first movie. Don't get me wrong it was a great movie but it wasn't the kind of great I wanted. Twilight concentrated on the vampire and action part and they forgot that main theme in twilight isn't vampires and action... the main theme is love... The story tells us about an epic love, a love so epic that not even the fact that your loved one is a vampire can stop you from being with him... and not even the fact that it pains you to be next to your loved one because her blood smells like no other before can keep you from wanting to be with her, hold her and treasure her. In the movie they failed to show this epic love and why it's so epic. So as afraid of dissappointement as I was I put my clothes on, fixed myself and went to see the cinema to see if I would love new moon; and boy did I... It followed the story so good, every scene was perfectly executed and just as I had imagined it to be. It was my kind of great. The only thing missing was ropert pattinson coming out of the screen. Now that would have been EPIC. XoXo

My day part 4

All of the sudden they go and leave me... alone... in the rain... looking out at the water... I felt so... so... GOOD!! HaHa.. Finally I was rid of them... HaHa.. No but seriously something got into me and I let everything out... everyhting, sitting there alone I started crying... Please come back (NOT)

But they did come back :'(... And they took me away to krono again.. Now that's worth crying for..

Goodbye Slussarna... Goodbye calmness...

My day part 3

When we wanted to go back, the car STOPPED so we didn't know what to do... Then me and sarsor decided to push the car...

But it wouldn't start and I got panicked.. so I decided to jump in to the water and end the misery... Sarsor didn't care and told me to jump if I wanted to do so but namoose wouldn't let anything bad happen to me so she caught me in the last second and told me that sarsor is probably too weak and that she would push the car with me...

We started pushing and pushin and it finally started... I knew it was all sarsoras fault...

My day part 2

I wasn't sure about how my clothes looked so I asked them "How do I look? Is the sweater okay?"

















Then they started laughing at me: "HaHa haram, you look so funny" Ottokaji?














Well, I had a jacket (thank you god) so I decided to put it on and we went to slussarna... In the rain... wohoooo

My day part 1

As I said in my previous entry the midnight-walk-in-the-rain didn't help... I needed someone who could make me think of other things... Jandi Bhat was sick and Teta had school but I had ouri namose and sarsor whom I hadn't seen in months so I went to my college even though I didn't have any classes to meet up with them and we had a blast... These two made me laugh, push cars, cry and try to commit suicie all in the same day... Thank you girls for making me feel better and I hope you had fun too... Anyways through some pics I'm going to retell our day (with some fiction of course)... the story is too long but here is part one...

We're sitting taking pics and joking at the college

After the last pic we decide that since namoose got her drivings licence (mabroooouk hayati) we should take the car, go out and have some fun...

Depression :S

In the last couple of days I was feeling really down but I tried real hard not to show it to anyone, even convincing myself that I was fine and I succeded until yesterday around midnight when I couldn't hold it in anymore... I wasn't fine and I couldn't take it anymore but thankfully I had a talk with namoose who gave me good advice and I decided to take them... After that I went out and took a walk alone in the rain... it was really late (around 1 o'clock at night) so I was careful with having noone notice because they would FLIP. The walk helped for a little while but I still wasn't okay and I needed something more... or someone... XoXo

Ta7adde

This entry is in arabic because the person in question wanted it this way:

Min kam youm sar fi ta7adde bayne w ben sha5es; ken bado yektob 3anne bill blog shi ma 3ajabne fa t7adayto yekteba... w kataba lal shaghle la2en howe al mosta7il yo5sar ta7adde... el mohem ana hounik arraret enne badde raje3lo yeha w ektob shi yo2haro bil blog la2en alle enne ma bestarje.. w bass 7ada y2elle enne ma bestarje e3mol shi bsir badde a3mela law sho ma sar. W lyoum ma ken youm mni7 binesbe ele fa elt la 7ale yalla feshe kell 5el2ek fi HaHa.. Balashet 3a ases badde ektob bass ma ken fiye ektob shi mich mni7 3anno la2en aslan ma shi ma mni7 fi (gher shi 10 shaghlet haha 3m bemza7)... bass la2 hayda cousin 3anjad byorfa3 el ras; howe w 3aylto byorfa3o el ras w ma 5ele2 li baddo yjib sirton gher bi kill shi mni7... w henne 3ende aham min shi kam kelme bil blog aw min tehdid... W bass badde 2ol lal kill enno li baddo ye7ke 3an 7adan minnon yfaker awal shi 10 marrat bi sho momken ysir fihon... tc cousin w nshallah kill masheklak yen7allo w kill shi btetmanne yserlak...

My Sick Cousin

The cold is taking over everyone these days and now I just found out that my cousin also got it... It made me feel so bad cause even though this cousin is 5ales, ghaliz and mtallet he's still the best cousin one could wish for... A cousin that's always there when u need it, a cousin who can make u laugh even in your worst days, a cousin that through even just a smile can make you feel better, a cousin with a heart of gold, a cousin that would do anything for his family, simply I want to say that he's an epic person. An epic person indeed. So just wanted to say get well, get lots of sleep, yansoon, and be at the soba all the time... XoXo

Loosing The One You Love

I was talking to my friend yesterday and he was sad about a breakup and so we started talking about how hard it is to lose the one you love to someone else. And he asked, is there anything worse in the world? It got me thinking, and yes there is... Loosing the person you love to death, instead of to someone else. Maybe some won't agree, they will say that it's hard knowing that the other person still lives but you cant be with him/her. But I think that the people saying that are people who doesn't know how it is to loose someone to death. Yet again I don't know how it is to loose your beloved to someone else so maybe I can't judge either? But think about it: You can never meet that person again, never talk to him/her again.. only in your dreams do you get your chance to meet again but even then when you wake up the feeling just kills you because you come back to reality; a reality in which your beloved is dead, buried, nonexisting in any other place but in your heart. You wouldn't have the chance to see that person happy again, smile again, laugh again, wink again, smirk again... You'll always think; what if? What could've been? Would it be the two of us against the world? Would it be always and forever? Would it be epic? You'll never know but you just hope that one day, some day someone else will come and sweep you off your feet again and that this time around it'll last, it'll be always and forever, it'll be epic. XoXo

Songs of the day: ALAM and BISSAN

Favourite Guys and Girls

During the last day at my old school I wanted to spend every second capturing the memories I had from it; this school felt like a safe place for me, a place where I had met so many loving people whom I would never forget. These people and these memories; this school shaped the person I face today in the mirror. I had a blast with everyone, from my first to my last year I spent it with those guys and girls and even though a lot of misfortune happened they were and will always be amongst my favourite people in the world... I miss the staircase where I sat on, ignoring those telling us that it wasn't "suitable"... I miss the "runda bord" where I would have endless discussions with the guys... I miss the cafeteria that namoose got her favourite dose of coffee from... I miss the library that could never be quiet with us in it... I miss the hallway were we would run until our breath went out... I simply miss everything, every inch of that school and it will forever be my favourite place in the world along with some of my favourite memories of my life... Thank you for giving me an experience no ohteer school could have ever provided me !!

Beautiful Enough To Love

OMG OMG OMG. Guess who me saw today? Yuup, Rasta!!!!! Haha and I sat behind him, making Henna all jealous, muahaha!! Btw just wanted to thank my cousin in lebanon for the nicest sweater ever, it was goergeus habibiiii(K)(L)... XoXo

List of songs

So I decided to make a list, 6 songs from these three languages.

Arabic songs:
*Ana ktir 3alek
*A7la Gharam
*Sar el7aki
*Law ta3rafou
*Ya rab
*Kent mfaker

English songs:
*Halo
*Forever and always
*Love story
*Real love
*I'm yours
*Soulmate

Korean songs:
*Hallelujah
*Ring ding dong
*Haru Haru
*Heartbeat
*Waiting for you
*Without words

Doulo habibi is Back!!

I missed him soooo much and now he's finally back !! Doulo is here and I couldn't be happier. In the past year I haven't seen him more than 2 months combined and I was never used to that. Seing him again so many emotions ran through me; LOVE, HAPPINESS, COMFORT and SATISFACTION. This couldn't get better (only of course if rasta was here too). Anyways soon I'm going to add a list of songs you have to listen to, they are amasing!! XoXo

Perfect day with maryama

Wazza all my readers? yukh its so sad that my only readers are people I force to read my blog HaHa.. Well today I dont care because this day was PERFECT, I even saw Rasta (L) at the college. Good things just kept coming to me haaha and I even spent the whole day with maryama, so what can be better than that? Anyhoo here's some pics from when we had our little gathering.. we had so much fun and more pics to come later.. and maybe a video too haha.. maybe..