Work, work and a while of fun

Today I didn't go to the university which was unusual because these past few weeks I've been going there even if I didn't have any classes because it was fun hanging out with Namose (or nemo as I have called her in my previous entries). But today I had an essay to work on so I decided to stay at home and work because I knew that I wouldn't have any time for work if I was with namose, with her its been all fun, especially recently. Seriously when we're in the same room we can laugh at the silliest things, things that make no sense to anyone but we get it, we get each other. But not going there today didn't mean that I didn't see her, I finished my work real fast and we met up and talked for a while and even though it was short, it was real fun!! Thaanks ya ahla namoose for being a blast!!

Pissed off!!

SO MAD. Today as I was on my way to the university I did my usual thing, took Metro (the newspaper), bought coffee and sat down in the cafeteria. As I was reading the news something caught my eye. Someone was answering to a previous entry. What I understood from the whole thing was that someone wanted it to be okay if you want to wear niqab (a scarf that also covers your face, except for the eyes). So they answered her/his entry by claiming that a school should be free from religous things. So it's not okay to be with a niqab that your parents forced on you at home to school and they also asked if she/he would accept it if someone had the nazzi sign on a sweater or something.

This really blew my mind. These people took it for granted that if someone wore a niqab then the obvious reason would be that you were forced to wear it. Is it so rare that someone actually wants to wear it? Is it so far away from peoples imagination? Why do they take for granted that as soon as someone puts a niqab on then it means that they were forced to? Has it ever occured to these people that one might actually want to wear it? Is it so out of the question? I believe that the people who think like that are just narrowminded idiots who can't seem to get out of their own little tiny bubble where everyone has to like what they like and think what they think!! It's hard enough today to dress as you want to without people staring, but now they also want to forbid it?

The funniest thing was how they compared the niqab to the nazzi sign! Were they being serious? No, they were probably just their idiotic selves. I mean what person in their right mind would think that wearing a niqab that does no harm to others feelings is the same as wearing a nazzi sign? Wearing a niqab is a way of expressing that one is a muslim while the nazzi sign represents that one is a nazzi and last time I checked muslims didn't kill 6 million jews. Nazzi's were the ones. Nazzi's stand for everyhting bad in this world while the religion Islam stands for everything good in this world!

Real rain

A couple of entries ago I wrote that it was raining and that I was about to go out to clear my mind. So as I'm opening the door and I look out I see that it wasn't raining at all... It really surprised me because I had been so sure that I heard that it was raining outside, positive! So what was going on? Had I imagined the rain? Was it all in my head? And if so then why? Why did I imagine that it was raining?

Anyways I kept on hearing the same sound (that it was raining outside) for two days or so and it made me crazy because I couldn't figure out why I was hearing things... Was I becoming crazy? Anyways just a couple of minutes ago I heard the sound again but this time it was REAL... Tshoaa, I ran outside and stood under the rain, feeling the raindrops on my skin, staring into nothing and just like that all my troubles were gone.

But still there was this question; why was I imagining the sound of rain? My theory is that after the week that I had (lots of bad luck, today was the worst) I really wanted for atleast one good thing to happen and in my situation rain is what ultimately would help. And I also believe that after it rains my luck always changes for the better so I think that I wanted it to rain so badly that I actually started imagining the sound. Crazy? You be the judge...

Proper manners? Who decides?

Today I was reading a friends blog where she was implying that not speaking loudly anymore meant that she was growing up, that she had matured. And this made me thinking, who gets to decide that? Who gets to decide what proper manners are? I am one who would like to speak loudly if I so like and if I'm not hurting anyone by doing so then why would it be considered wrong?

We're living in a society today which in if a guy yells outside nobody gives a shit but as soon as they hear a girl speaking ludly they start saying that she lacks proper manners.. I'm so sick of it, so sick of people telling me how to be and what "proper manners" are. How is speaking loudly not proper manners? I mean if you're outside and you're in a discussion with someone and your voices start to get louder, why does there always have to be a certain someone who wants to shsh you down? I could write an essay about this issue but I'm just too tired today, maybe tomorrow? haha, well for now xoxo

Quote of the day: I grew up and matured without having to end a part of myself

He's just not that into you

I just finished watching he's just not that into you.. and the movie was so good, even perfect. And it's not so often I say this about a movie but I wouldn't change one thing about it.
The cast, the story, the ending... perfect. As good as it gets and this movie made me actually thinking about how dumb some girls can be sometimes, like one of my friends can be like "yeah he didn't call me because he wants to play hard to get so I'll get interested" or another one can say "He didn't look at me today because he wants me to think about him, to think about why he didn't look" and other real lame comments, and I can be like "plzzz step out of that little bubble of yours and stop thinking like that, if a guy doesnt show interest in you then 99% of the cases he's just not that into you... guys are simple, they aren't usually so smart as to play these games".. okaay, I don't actually say that, I think it but what comes out is usually just "Yeaah, hun you're soo right" because it's not like I can tell my friend "noo hun he's just not that into you"... I actually have a heart, I think.. :-P xoxo

Movie of the day: He's just not that into you

One year ago

So the freakiest thing just happened to me... I was doing my usual rutine; changed my clothes, made food and as I was about to eat I turned on the radio listening to "lugna favoriter".. and I remembered one of my al time favourite songs and then checked the date because I was thinking it was almost a year ago I started listening to it... And I was soo right, it had gone exactly a year since I listened to the song... Exactly as I was thinking that, guess what song starts on the radio? Yeaah, that one song! Omg, how time flies by sooo fast... But tell me, isn't it freaky? Exactly one year after I discover a sensational song I think about it and then I hear it on the radio? Freakyyy... I know what you're thinking.. who keeps track on the dates you first hear a song? haha well mee..

Today is the 26th of september, 2009. Exactly one year ago I had a burned hand, problems up to my head and someone that I could say anything to without being embarrased. I could talk to this person from the minute I wake up until the minute we both fall asleep... If only then I knew that the burned hand was nothing compared to the burned heart, the problems up to my head was nothing compared to the problems up to the sky and that that someone would be an ex-friend... Would I have appreciated every moment so much more if I knew all this? Would you have appreciated every moment so much more if you knew how things would be in a year? I most certainly would ...

Song of the day: I'm yours, Jason Mraz

Rain

Right now it's raining outside so I'm about to go out and take a walk.. Most people aren't like me, they hate it when it rains but for those who thinks like me want it to rain everyday. I don't know how rain does it but it kind of washes away all the pain held inside and makes me forget everything that's happened and make me live for today. So I wish for the rain to last of wash away the past...

Quote of the day: "Carpe diem quam minimum credula postero"

Hope

Tshoaa... today I was sitting and all of a sudden my brother told me something that made me soo happy for him... Anyways I'm really starting to hope (yes, even though I swore never to hope again) that things are going to get better from here on now... I'm just praying to not be let down again...

Back from downtown

I just got back from downtown and Mandy also joined us so it was the three of us there and I was having a blast before a certain someone showed up and ruined the mood amongst us.. So the day ended with not-so-bright faces.. Oh but I also saw some good faces today.. well not good but tlking to them made me happy, I'm happy because of their misery... I know I sound so evaaaal saying that but I just don't care. Everyone should get what they deserve and these people obviously did. Wohooo !! xoxo

A new person with a new beginning

These days have been both good and bad. The bad thing is that these days everyone has problems of their own so they get caught up in their own world of depression and noone has time for anyone else but themselves but this has lead to a LOT of alone time for me and this is good because I think that I needed it...

Everytime I spend alone time I get to know what and who I want in my life. I now have a clear picture of who I should focus more attention on and who I should focus less attention on and the execution started today.

I'm also going to stop doing something just because I think it's "the right thing".

The last thing I learned is that I'm going to stop taking bull shit from anyone just because I'm scared that I may loose that person. No matter how good someone is to you, when they wrong you then you have to point it out and make a statement.

I've done this the whole day now and already I feel so much better. I feel like a new person who can do anything. I feel that I have started a brand new life with a brand new beginning.

I'm at the university now and soon I'm going to go to Espresso House with Nemo, I know I'll have a blast... xoxo

I wish...

I wish I could turn back time and be 11 again...
I wish I could turn back time and choose a different path...
I wish I could turn back time and talk to you again...
I wish I could turn back time and and have that best friend again...
I wish, I wish, oh I so truly wish that I could turn back time and be 11 again...

Ottoke

Just as I wanted to start watching my kdramas.. I get a call from a private number.. I didn't want to answer but the chance was big that it could be my dad calling.. so I answered.. it was H again, and I shut the phone.. the phone rang again and I didn't answer.. ottokeee...

mmm... cheesecake

Today I made cheesecake and it was HEAVEN.. First I didn't think it would turn out as good as always, but who was me kidding? Me never fails cause me am me!! Haha.. Going to watch some goo jun pyo now.. so should you... xoxo

3id mubarak

Morning everybody!! Just wanted to say 3id mubarak... Have a good day, I know I wont :-) xoxo

R.I.P 3ammo 7abibe

In ten minutes from now ramadan will be over and it will be time for 3id. But it feels like anything but 3id. These couple of years haven't been so good but at least when 3id would come you would be able to forget all your problems and spend these three days with your family, friends and loved ones. And this is what we would do every year; I would wake up, give my daddy and mommy a big kiss and then move on to the rest of the family saying 3id mubarak, then I would take a shower, put on my new clothes and run to my aunties place where the whole family would be gathered. Then we would go to a resturaunt and we would eat all we can as a BIG geunuinely happy family whose forgotten all the problems even if just for a day. But this year was like no other, and so this 3id will be like no other. This year we lost a big part of us, 3ammo abou hussein may he rest in piece. Loosing him meant loosing a big part of the family, the oldest one, the one whose face would always be the first I see when I go to my aunties place on 3id, the first face I would want to see! This year I wont be able to see him and so this 3id won't feel like a 3id. Today when I herd the 3id was announced to be tomorrow for the first time ever I wasn't happy about the announcement. Sadness filled my heart and tears just wouldn't stop running, I thought I was the only one but then I looked up and I saw the rest in the room also crying... We were all thinking the same; 3ammo won't be here, my dad won't be here and my brother Ali won't be here! Three people whom I've never been apart from during ramadan or 3id will be missing tomorrow. People ask me all the time if I'm okay but do they really want to hear the answer? Of course I'm not okay and I don't think I'll ever be... How can I be okay with everything going on around me? Thinking about how hard this must be for auntie I went over to her place and just as I thought the house was a freaking mess. Not a single dry eye! So tell me, would you be okay? I guess this 3id I'll spend it with me, myself and I...

You know you missed me xoxo

So after being absent for a while due to several reasons I decided to post an entry todaay. Yaaay! Today something happened that totally threw me off track. Have u ever been in that kind of situation where you know you're being wronged but you're to tired to justifie yourself? In the situation I was in I really wanted to explain but then it popped to my head, why talk when no one wants to really listen? Anyways my fever's running really high today and I think my jaw is broken.. yuup thats how much it hurts.. You know u missed me, xoxo

What's his freaking problem??

Just as Taylor Swift was accepting her award and I'm being really happy for her guess who pops out of nowhere and interrupts her acceptance speech and says that Beyonce deserved the award.. poor taylor!! Keep your opinions to yourself Idiot !!

Watchin the VMA's

Assumeness!! Right now I'm watching the VMA's red carpet!! So far so gr88 :-D Just the little headache from not sleeping yet .. xoxo

Komawo teta

Teta oh teta, how can you be so assume? For some time now I've been recieving calls from a private number. In the beginning when I used to answer, the person calling would either be quiet or turn on music.. but never saying a word. In the end I stopped answering but the calls however did not stop. And so today I decided to answer and I recognised the voice immidietly.. It was H, the friend I had sworn never to talk to again. the talk was short because H was with some friends and promised to call afterwards. Well I didn't know how to react to this, should I answer the next call? And just then Teta came after the iftar and we took a long walk. it was so refreshing and as good as always to take a walk with teta.. I told her about everything and she gave me the advice I needed. Komawo once again shingo for being here always!! xoxo

A day at home

Mornin! Today I was supposed to go to the university with Nemo but since Jandi wanted to go tomorrow instead I decided to go with Jandi so we can study together. So instead I'm gonna stay home today.

P.S. Per n Petter are annoying mee!! yuuukh shirooo

xoxo

Today I was really sick but I still tried not to break my fast and I did it! Me so proud of me! I was also really close to talking to an ex friend but I managed to hold myself back, knowing that if we talked again even just once I would be sucked back into the lies. I was still thinking if I should answer this person or not as dodo came knocking on my door and saved me from what woud've been a misstake. Thanxx dodo, even though you didn't know this but taking that walk with you today made me feel a lot better. You are a true friend.. xoxo

Get well daddy

So I'm pretty much back to having sucky days, with sucky news!! Well, no one thing good was that I changed class! But with one good thing comes 5 bad things. I have an urge feeling of asking why me? But I won't.. cause by now I know better than to ask why all bad things are attracted to me. They just are, there's no reason for it.. One of the bad things was that I heard my dad is getting surgery.. n he didn't even tell me, maybe he didn't wanna worry me? Well now I'm worried sick, the last thing my dad needed right now was this! Get well daddy, I miss you (L)

Wish me luck

Good Morning, it hasn't been one for me.. what about you? Yukh.. I'm desperately waiting for the class changing annoucement. I really want to be with Jandi this year!! Anyhoo wish me luck!!

Fun Day Out

Heey today I went out with nemo as I told you I would and we had a blast!! She's a shopping freak and so am I!! And then we also hanged out with Mandy and Nushin... We had a lot of fun and met with a lot of stalkers... haha and I did a good deed.. I bought my sister lots of gifts. And I bought myself lots too. Haha CSN roxzzz :D.. Gonna watch my kdramas now!!

On my way out

Morning.. finally I got some sleep, But (yeah theres a but) when I woke up I felt really sick.. nega maniii appo :S .. ottoke.. On my way now to meet up with my friend Nemo and we're going out! xoxo

Guess what?

Wohoooo.. congrats is in order for mee to.. Guess what? No guess again? Still don't know? Okaay I'll say it.. drum drum.. I'm sleepy!!! What a gr88 feeling!! As I'm typing this I'm even having a hard time having my eyes open.. tshoaaa.. reminds me of the good old sleeping beauty days!! Have a good night, I know I will!! Muahaha xoxo

Happy Birthday to Ouri Sarsor

What day is today, what day is today? Today is sarsoras day and her day only. The clock here in sweden just passed 00.00 and it's officially 9/9, in other words sarsoras birthday. May your days be as blessed as your heart is kind. Happy Birthdaaaaaay!!!! xoxo

NOOOOO

I just heard the most devestating news, my one and only hyunnie got the SWINE FLEW. I just heard about it from ouri Nonna and I didn't believe her until I read the news on allkpop.com .. This can't seriously be happening? He must be soo afraid right now. What's going on seriously? When is this flue thingy going to stop? Am I the only one scared? People have already died from it... when will we see the end of this? Hopefully we will and Hyunnie be strong Aja Aja Hwaitiiing!!! xoxo

PinK TeTa

O.M.GEE. Hhaaha today ouri teta tried on her cap for graduation and off couse all was pinky pink (thats my girl)!! She's graduatig this year and I hope she'll rock it, NO I KNOW SHE WILL!! Teta Aja Aja Hwaitiiing!!

Oh yeaah and I also sent that e-mail about changing classes.. haha I was being SOOO dramatic.. Jandi Bat you would be proud haha!! xoxo

Bad luck?

So, yeah I didn't get the class that I wanted. My three friends that I knew from before got in one class and I'm alone in another. So I'm just about to send an e-mail to my mentor and ask for a changing of class. Some people think that I'm being immature and that a part of college is meeting new people. I agree with the meeting new people part, but think about it for a second; when you start college it's hard enough adjusting to the new environment and well basically the new life. There will be a lot of group assignments etc. Wouldn't it make life easier if I had someone who had the same hardworking willfullness as mine? It's not that I want the easy road, but why not take it if I have a chance? Jandi Bat is a person who I've went with to school for a lot of years and her mind is like mine, we both know what we want and what we have to do to get it. Not only that but I'll also be studying something I like with one of my best friends and that will make the studying fun and exciting. And thats exactly how I want my college experience to be; fun, exciting and I want it to be with Jandi Bat! xoxo

Nighty!!

Right now the time is 01.12 and I'm just about to go to bed. Tommorow morning I'll have my first officiall class in college! So excited to meet all the new faces but in the same time afraid that this college experience won't meet up with my expectations! I'll tell you tomorrow how everything went. Have a good night, I know I won't ;-) xoxo

Komawo ouri teta!

After I posted the last entry I was feeling a little down; a feeling that simply has refused to go away these days. But then one of My bffs called me and I saw her for a little bit. Instantly after seeing her and having a talk with her I felt better! She always has that affect on me! Do you have that kind of person in your life? A friend that no matter how down or depressed you are she/he can make you laugh and forget all your troubles? I'm blessed to have that in ouri teta! She was the one who made my graduation as good as it was, she was there when I needed a shoulder to cry on the most, she was there when I was heartbroken and she was there when noone else was! I always see myself in her but in the same time look up to her and her strong willfullness. She probably doesn't even know what a huge difference she's made in my life and that without her I wouldn't be ME. Komawo ouri teta for being me (me calls her me haha) and always being here! No matter how much time passes and no matter how our lives changes from this to whatever I know that we will be friends forever!

HUGE MISTAKE

Okaay, to all of those who got an e-mail saying who blocked you? First thing, it doesn't work.. secondly when you check it out it will automatically send the same e-mail to all your contacts. That's what happened to me, unfortunately. So H I didn't intend on sending you the stupid e-mail, it was sent to you automatically! And about the link, once again I'll say I have no freaking idea what you're blabbering about!

P.s. Yuuup, no sleep last night either... Does anyone have any tips that you want to give me? Please feel free to do so!!

Going to bed early

So here's what I decided: Even though I know I won't be able to sleep because of my ridcilous insomnia I'm still gonna go to bed. It's 00.32 right now and for the first time I'm gonna go to bed this early, for those of you who actually "know" me, you probably know this is a huge step forward for me. So off I am to give sleeping a chance.

You gotta love Mike He

I just finished watching Why Why Love for the 30th time! And I still can't seem to get enough, you just gotta love Mike He

Mike he

My two sisters

Today at the dining table I had a little quarrel with my older sister Maya, but in a minute or so we were laughing about it. It made me realise how lucky I was to have her in my life, no matter what I do or say she always forgives me and makes me feel better, all the while teaching me right from wrong. And then I have my younger sister, soso, the most loving person you could ever meet. She is strong, independant and willfull. These are my two sisters, my two sweethearts; they are my everything!
My sister soso and I

My sister Maya

How well do you know the person next to you?

I know what to do now! I reread the instant message that asked me if we knew each other and it made me thinking. Do I know this person, Did I ever know this person? What does knowing a person mean? Do you say that you know someone just because you've been friends for a long time? Can you ever really KNOW a person? Inside and out? Because, this year there's been a lot of cases where I thought I knew someone but then all of a sudden I get a slap in the face and that someone turns out to be a complete idiot.

99% of my friends have dissappointed me and wronged me in so many ways. So does this mean that the person changed or does it simply mean that I never really knew her/him. I came to the conclusion that people never change, it just so happens that in some moments the person next to you, whom you thought you knew, shows her/his true colors and turns out to be someone you never really knew!

So my answer to you H is that No I don't know you, neither do I want to! I'm not going to reply and ask what these two people meant because whatever they meant simply doesn't matter anymore!

Confused

So here's the thing, yesterday I told y'all that hearing from someone unexpectadley made my day really good. I also told you to say hi to those close to your hearts. Well, I didn't expext to get surprised twice within the passing of two minutes. Two people who used to mean A LOT to me just contacted me but it didn't make me happy. It made me confused, why now all of a sudden? What do they mean? Should I reply?

Here's what happened: I signed in to msn, and a window popped up.. someone I hadn't talked to in months had written something that made no sense. The person was asking what I meant and asked about a link. The person also asked me if we know each other now? I reread it maybe 5 times, asking myself what the hell this person was saying and if I should reply. I still haven't replied and I don't know if I should. Then I noticed I had gotten an e-mail. When I saw the name of the sender I was chocked. It was a person whom I used to trust completely before I got backstabbed. The person always used to send me greetings but when I refused to reply the greetings stopped. Now in the e-mail the person was asking me how I was doing and told me that even though I wont reply the greeting was a must.

So right now I'm confused, what should I do? What road should I take?

Morning

Sunday morning is here and a normal person wouldn't be tired because this is one of the rare days where you can actually sleep in. But for that it requires for you to actually get some sleep, which you know I'm having a hard time with. Yukh, all is dull in the world of moii !!

Sleepless in Trollhättan

Hmm.. its 2 o' clock and I wish that I was sleeping but I havent been able to... First I thought it was because of the stress but the things I had been stressing about got resolved today so I should be able to sleep well shouldnt I? Obviously the answer is no.. Have you ever had that feeling? Feeling anxiety but you just don't know why. I talked to my mum about it, her answer was to drink yansun (a drink that supposedly calms your nerves and makes it easier to sleep). Well she knows me better than to think I'll actually listen to that advise. So I guess I'll just have to endure another sleepless night in Trollhättan!

Best Day In A Loong Time

Today something happened that really made my day. After a Loong week of being down, depressed and confused I finally heard from someone I truly missed and it made me happy all day long. It made this day the best day in what seems like forever. So I just want to tell everyone out there to take a couple of moments and say hi to all whom you care for, who knows maybe u'll make someone elses day better. Thank you L for making my day the best day in a long time.

Graduation

Me and Sarsor

Me and Jandi Bat

Me

The guys

The girls and Mr. Magic

In my first blog entry I told you I was going to blog about my first college experience, well here's the thing; In June this summer I graduated from high school. After spending 3 years at the same place, same safe and secure place the teachers were ready to send us out into the unknown, out into the world of adultness.
I had spent these 3 years rekindling old friendships, discovering new friends and I had gotten so attached to these people that I never thought about the day we would be forced to go our seperate ways. It all came too fast and it wouldnt slow down, the memories came to me like a movie. We said our goodbyes, gave our thanks and I went to Lebanon, my homecountry, my favourite place in the world. Now I'm back and I started College 3 weeks ago. During these three weeks I changed majors 3 times. Lets hope this major sticks now!

My own place to chill

For a long time now I've been following other peoples blogs. Now I decided to make it my turn to enter the blogging world.

I'm going to use this to blog about whatever comes to my mind; about how my days have been, about my first college experience and about all the special topics that interests me and will hopefully interest you.

So here's to what will hopefully become my special runaway place where I can just chill! COMBE!!!