Say you're sorry? Think again

Wazza? So these couple of days I've been thinking... What do you do when you know you've done somehting wrong? You can try saying I'm sorry but sorry won't take back time and undo the thing you did wrong. You can try building a time machine but by the time you'd be done you'd maybe be 103 years old only to realise that --HEEY IT DOESN'T WORK-- What else is there? I really don't know; what do you do when you've wronged a person close to your heart? I don't think there is an answer for that one. I mean we all fail, I know that in one way or antoher there comes a point where we all fail... What I don't know is what I can do after I have failed in something.. Since I was young I've talked a lot about forgiveness. I used to actually believe in forgiveness but i dont know if I do anymore. As I said previously what will sorry do? I don't think we ever truly forgive but we just choose to live with the mistake that the other person has made if we love him/her enough to be able to do so. Or if the misstake wasn't big enough to sacrifice the relationship you had... but forgiveness? Yeah I'm not too sure about it... So you and I have to rememeber that the next time you wanna do something that is wrong; when you cheat or steal or gossip or hurt a friend or anything.. whatever it is you're doing or have done or planning on doing... Think about that there is no forgiveness. theres just what comes next. Take it from someone whose been there is there; I've been wronged so many times and I've also wronged people .I just did it two days ago. .. After it is done there is only pain and guilt.. misery of knowing what you did.. So I don't know what you can do after a failure but my advice is just don't do it!! just stop! Right now stop it before its too late.

Happy Birthday

Mhamad hayatoo albeto Happy birthday ya 3ommmree... and thnxx for what you did today... yet again you showed what an epic person you are (not that I needed to be reminded). Since day one.. for as long as I can remember you have always been there for me and made my life so much easier, you're a person I can tell anything to and you always understand me and even though sometimes you disagree with what I'm doing you still support me, 7ebbo ana mwaaah(K)... And namoose the crazyyy stalker whom without hv can never be the same... I miss you ya habboulti taboulti, like omg omg you're 19 years old now... happy birthdaay ya albee hope to see ya soon habboul mwah mhwa mwah

Hahaha such a funn dayy!!!!!

Wazza? Hahaha today was crazy but also a load of funn!! The day started with an exam that went really well, better than expected and then Rajpar came to visit... haha it was so funny when my brother saw him sitting with us and he was like isn't he the magic dude? Lol yuupp thats him mr magic:P:P ... anyhoo after the lunch break rajpar went to class with us and THANK GOD he did... have u ever had a class that was so boring it became fun?? Rajpar kept on making jokes and texting me funny comments about the teacher I couldn't help but burt into laughter... Like I kept on laughing and laughing and the teachers became sooo upsett but I just couldn't not laugh.. like since when are you that funny rajpar? Or no it must be that because of the dullness anything would have been funny? Yeah must be it.. anyhoo the most fun part was when rajpar told me to look outside the window and I saw the snow... my reaction was as if I had seen something heavenly and I told Jandi Bhat to also look but when she saw the snow she looked as if she was getting strangled with a big fat NOOO on her forehead hahaha.... lolll I laughed so hard my stomach started hurting... After the day had ended we sat in the cafeteria and I wanted Henna and Rajpar two start a war haha:P:P soo enjooy the video where u can see a little bit of me fueling them with anger muahaha... me so evaal you have to hate it... XoXo

P.S. Thaanx for the red bull haha:P:P

:@

a5555555 this is as bad as it can get... it never was this way; the nagging and arguing but somewhere down the line things started to change... my summer was ruined because of this and now probably the rest of my life!! oufttttttttt!!!!! I know you're not getting anything I'm just writing this one for myself XoXo

Graduation videos

As you know I graduated last year... I had some videos from that day, they are all short and not quite so good because its kind of upside down or something... yukh whatever I decided to post them anyways so try to enjoyy .. XoXo

Maro albe w el ahbal ali:D

Today was a gr88 day... it's been a long time since I saw maro and ali... too long and seriously shta2telkonnn mottt... Maro has been my best friend for a long time and by all the people I've met in my life she's like no other... her heart, her personlity she just shines a room whererever she is... no matter how depressed you are she can make you smile and laugh, forgetting all your worries and making you live for the moment... I hadn't seen her in a long time but today I went to her place and OMG it was exactly what I needed, a dose of maro albetoo (K) ... thnxx maro for an amasing day ana 7ebbooo... then on my way back home guess who screams mooooooooona across the street? Haha no other then ali, gosh I hadn't seen him in like a month or so and thats too much... he's like the male version of maro.. he always makes me laugh and he always makes me fell better about myself... he has that effect on me because it's not often you have someone who constantly says how much he misses you and how gr8 you are... I talked with him for a long time but it wasn't enough... damn the dose of craziness that I got today was enough for a year... why can't all people be like you why why?? lol... maro and ali miss you moooootw ya ret ayem pettersberg bterja3 w shoufkon kill youm w e3od ma3kon wennaket w nemza7 w nattef ba3dna hehe:P:P XoXo

Mhamad and Doulo are back(L)

Yaaay:D .. Yesterday at night my brother mohamed came back home from sharm el-sheikh.. omg shta2teloooo mooott.. the house was so freaking empty without him and having him back I just have one word: tshoaaaa:D .. He brought me a gift to hehe komawooo:D .. I loved it habibee(L) .. and today doulo came, and now the house is complete lol had so much fun with them todayy :D:D .. anyhoo loving life right now!! XoXo

F3 and Biggie Baby movie night

Exactly a year ago my cousins Khalil and Rajaa were here visiting and as we where talking about movies Ver Zara was recommended to me and I really wanted to watch it but never dared to because I thought it would be too depressing and then I just kind of put it on hold until we had a F3 night; me, teta and Jandhi. We decided to watch Ver Zara and I really hate to say this but I JUST DON'T GET THE BIG HYPE. I mean whaaat? I expected so much and got so... nothing.. tshinsha nothing... some parts were good, the acting was A-mazing but the story wasn't (to me) solid, the characters didn't fall to my taste, the depth could've been shown so much better with better directing (like say if me was the director) lol:P. But still it was fun as always being with those two and it got even more fun when biggie baby maya came and joined us; haha we laughed at the exact same things (i.e. when u were supposed to cry LOL). Teta and Jandhi fell for the movie but sorry I just didn't... hmm I'll stick to shahid kapoor next time XoXo

Namooose miss you ana ya stalkerrr:P

The hardest part of any friendship is when the time comes to say goodbye. Yesterday one of my oldest and closest friends namoose moved to Örebro. I've known her for as long as I can remember and her moving still hadn't quite gotten through to me until today when I was about to text her about going to the university tommorow.. I'm not kidding I was actually about to send her the text when the fact that she wasn't her caught on to me. Okaay my memory is bad but was is that bad? Maybe it's a habit, like whenever something happens I text her, whenever I wanna go there I text her because I can't imagine what hv would be like without her... I wish I could make you stay... I really do but even though I wish you could stay I know that life is a journey, a journey which needs to be travelled with strength, belief and courage. This the beginning of something new and even though sometimes it'll be hard it'll all be worth it... this is you following your dream... so follow your heart and never give up, whenever things are hard remember i'm a phonecall away. Namooose 7ebbo ana.. miss you mot... el jem3a baleke ma ra7 teswa walla mich adre fakker kif badde rou7 w ma koun ma3ek hounik.. haaha yimken halla2 rou7 3ala sfoufe? lol:P:P laa2 bass namoose habibeeee ntebhe 3a 7alek MWAAAAAAAAAAAH

Freaking exam

Today I had the biggest exam you can think of... But I just couldn't concentrate.. too many htings have been occuppying my mind lately and today was no exeption. It actually took me an hour into the exam to start writing... Anyways I really hope I passed and if I do I just wanna thank teta, sara, jandi bhat and maya... Sara have been giving me her material and helping me lots, jandi has done the same.. maya spent her whole morning trying to find asnwers for my questions that I had rergarding the exam and teta, well what can I say about teta? She's the one giving me the motivation to stuy (by threatening that she won't speak to me otherwise) haha lol no but seriously when I first started this programme she was the one who got me all the things I needed, heck she even cleaned my desk and she doesn't even do that for herself and just two days ago she came in the middle of the night in the cold to get me a book that I needed... I just hate her so much it's unbelievable:P:P

CRAZY DAY

OMG. Today has been CRAZY. To say the least. I overslept and woke up 5 minutes before the bus was gonna come. God knows how I managed to put my clothes on and ran to the station. After the university I went to downtown to buy more gifts for my cousins in lebanon with my one and only pabo bhat. Haha she was pitshasso as always and that's what made this stressful day so much fun!! Then we met up with namoose, magdouse and 7anoush to go to hollywood and eat. Yummy it was sooo good. After a blast at downtown I went home and here me am blogging about my day. lol:P:P... namoose is moving soon, gonna miss that crazy girl soo much but remember hayati that wherever you are, whenever it is I SEE YOU:p:p:p hahahh. Ahla namoose walla mwah mwah mwaaaaaaaaaaaah 7ebbo ana mooot(L)

Himdurwe

Im tired, really exhausted. I didn't sleep before six o'clock in the morning; instead I watched dramas and movies.. Then I woke up at 9 or 10, really early and I was supposed to go to the university but instead I talked with namoose for like 4 hours... that must have been a record... been a long time since i talked that much on the phone... My whole body is numb and I really need to sleep but I can't.. my eyes are like wide awake even though my body is aching for some sleep... ottokaji? I was supposed to go to downtown with namoose but I just texted her and said I couldn't... So i'm gonna spend the whole day in bed today infront of my computer, xoxo

On october 17 and Now

On October 17 I was torn between two choices... between settling and taking a leap. I wrote about it in my blog, I asked myself what I should do... should I stop hoping? I didn't have an answer. It was a really tough period for me, not knowing what to do I was really torn and I seriously thought about settling and try to forget but I couldn't... It wouldn't be fair to anyone... it wouldn't be fair to myself to live in a lie... So I decided against settling down because even though I felt there was no chance for me I still couldn't do it... I wouldn't... I've been cranky, nagging about everyhting, yelling all the time, fighting with everyone mostly my family... they all had a bad time because of me but I couldn't help it... I was a mess... Now a couple of days ago something happened that made it all worth it.. the yelling, the hurting, the crying everything.. it was worth it... And the thing is even if it hadn't happened I still wouldn't take back the choice I made that saturday because settling down is never right.. for anyone. It's better to live your life knowing you did your best then to live it knowing you gave up. I did my best and at the end of the day that's what really mattered.. Tshokaheee:D:D:D:D ...

epic day with epic teta and cruella

Yesterday I went out with the one and only teta... We wanted to buy hot choko and donuts and take pics with cruella (she bought a new camera -georgeus- and I call her cruella even though that idyuut insists on calling her anders.. I'm like what?? This cam is a girl, an eval girly camera hence we have to call her cruella he2;O). So We start posing infront of cruella until we start fighting... here's the first part of the day and when teta sends me the rest of the pics (she's so lazy it'll take a year) I'll post the rest of the story...enjooy xoxo

Me: Nega kinshana? The pic feels too abnormal, ottokaji? Teta: It looks abnormal because ur abnormally boring, sit on the snow or something. Me: OtshaayTeta: Hmm much better. Me: Tshinsha? Im dying.. it's like freezing and im sitting on the snow... Teta: Yukhh you nag too much, yalla stand up then and be your boring self, uffft.. Me: Otshaay Me: Much better, see even though im boring cruella makes everything seem epic, don't you think? Teta: Yaaaaa, tshogo? Tshogolle??? Me: Boyaaaa?? Teta: Its anders, the name is anders!!! Say cruella one more time and I'll leave steal this bike and run away, leaving you here alone. Me: Cruella cruella cruella nanana I dare you to steal the bike. Teta: Otshaaaay

Teta: Muahaha this is sööööw assume.

Me: Nonononono I'm thinking about the word that I am not allowed to say but I won't say it but I'm thinking it. dooon't gooo ! Teta: Muahaha evaal me always wins. Me: But I'm serious isn't she a cruella? Teta: Anders feels more natural but lets not fight over it and brake anders feelings. Me: Yeaah cruella must be sööw sad... let's pose as good friends. Teta: Best friends? Me: Otshaay!

Me: Yaa... We're just posing right?? We wont be stuck together forever right? Teta: Nooo do pitshasso? It's an act soo anders won't be sad, al BFF al and a heart kamen pssst... You know I hate you.. Me: Naaaw I hate you too. Teta and Giddo: Otshaaay

R.I.P

Today was supposed to be a happy day... a day where we celebrate the birthday of my amasing mother, and my two dear cousins. Instead I woke up by the phone ringing, a call that that had a devestating message for my dad... Uncle bo najib passed away (r.i.p); making this day yet another day of mourning... Daddy is on his way to lebanon. What was supposed to be a good day turned out to be one of the worst...

My precious :'( :'( :'(

I was pissed and punched my hand into the glass and my precious ring broke and with it so did my heart... Call me a baby... call me a nagging idiot... call me whatever I don't care. To me that ring is more than just any ring... it has meaning, it's my precious... I almost never took it off my hand (only when i absolutley had to) and when I did take it off on those rare occasions I felt really weird. Empty. I know what you're thinking so spare me, I've heard it from others before you. To me the value of a thing isn't for how much I got it or what it's made of... it's what the thing represents for me, what meaning it has to me... and the value of that ring is more than you could ever know... :'(

Fantasies, dreams and desires

Something that we all have in common- all humans that is- is that we are dreamers, we fantasize... I know I do. But have you ever wanted something and dreamed and fantasized about it but when in the end you get it you don't want it anymore?

Why did Pascal say that we're only truly happy when daydreaming about future happiness? Why do they say that the hunt is sweeter than the kill or why do we say be careful of what you wish for? It's not because you'll get it but it's because you're doomed not to want it once you do. Our fantasies has to be unrealistic because the moment we get what we seek, we don't- we can't want it anymore. So what do we do?

I keep thinking about this; is this really human nature? I strive for a lot of things in life, does it mean that I'll appreciate it less when I truly get it? I'm really afraid of it- If I succeed in what I want will I appreciate it because I finally made it or will I instead forget the journey that got me to my success? Will I forget about the journey that gave me pains and doubts, hopes and believes?

Combe!

Yesterday at downtown with bebis and hasse was a lot of fun and today I went there again with the one and only bhat. My mums birthday is coming up so I was buying her gifts and I was also looking for stuff for my cousins in lebanon and let me just say that shopping for a guy isn't the easiest thing!!! We also had some hot choco and then met up with Carro and Malin to discuss our assignment. Today has been eventful to say the least with a lot of bad things happening so I'm happy that I got out a little and spent time with my favorite bhat!! Tomorrow I'm going to the university to meet up with the girls so here's to hoping we don't kill each other: Combe!!!

Downtown with Bebis

Whats up my fellow crazy readers?! Recently I've gone to downtown almost everyday, whether it's to hang out with friends or just shop like crazy I've made sure that this year I'm not going to laze around at home like I usually do. Today is no different: I promised bebis to take her shopping so we're going to downtown to eat and and shop until we're worn out and to those who knows how us two crazy sisters work; you know we don't get tired of that so I'll probably be back really late... I'll post how it went later at night.. xoxo

New Year New Me

I haven't updated my blog ever since new years eve and there is various reasons behind that, reasons which I don't wish to bore you with:P. 2010... wow time sure is running fast. It feels like yesterdat we had the millenium party.. okay not exactly yesterday but it sure doesn't feel like 10 years ago.. I was thinking about how much everythings changed since then, how much I had changed since then. Well this is a new year and this new year has brought a new me. This year I have decided to change the way I live life... Have you heard the saying "where is the life we lost in living?" I ask myself that everyday but I'm not going to do that anymore becasue the new me is going to be a person whose going to live life to the fullest and not take anyones crap. What me want me will get and what me wishes me will do!! XoXo